Emotions Experienced While Grading

I think we commonly grasp the relationship between high grades and positive emotions, and low grades and negative emotions, in students. I think the relationship between grading, grades, and faculty/teacher emotions are discussed, and thus understood, less.

This morning I submitted final grades for one of my courses and felt pride that I did not have to curve grades for the class. This feeling of elation was in contrast to the feelings I had over the weekend when I graded a writing assignment. The juxtaposition of these emotions in similar activity settings (grading) had me reflecting more on my emotions and grading in general. It wasn't just that grades were higher on the exam that made me happier compared to when grades were lower on the written assignment. The emotions elicited by grading were influenced by additional, complex factors.

The final exam was mostly (although not entirely) multiple choice/true false/calculation based. And, final grades are linked to distributions published from the start of the semester. Thus, these two grading activities were largely objective and required little effort and cognitive load on my part. The writing assignments, even with a rubric, involved much more subjectivity and exertion. I encouraged myself while grading the writing assignments by repeating "I can do hard things." What makes grading hard? Is it the subjectivity alone, and if so, what about it? Below are a few challenges I experience while grading.

• I want to be perceived as a fair instructor. Fairness is one of my core beliefs and I frequently experience unpleasantness when I perceive injustice. These perceptions are based on my own moral code and how I feel people should behave. (There's a challenge in itself of using the term should.) Subjective grading, is a missing label on a graph (content based) more, equal, or less egregious than a missing citation (process based) for example, is exhausting. I have to continuously make decisions regarding a core belief in an area that I think the populace has or could have more varied opinions on. I'm concerned about doing not just what I think is fair but what will students think is fair in this grey space. Here's the thing...I can't know what all students think is fair and even if I did they may not all agree. Furthermore, students may never grapple with these questions. If they think of fairness in grading at all, it is more likely in regards to the actual grade meeting their expected grade than their grade compared to a peer's (which requires honest sharing and vulnerability).

• Exam answers are typically right or wrong. Open response questions invite ranges of correctness and demonstration of learning. True or not, my perception is that open response takes more time and effort from the student. And herein lies another challenge- my brain spirals in its storytelling that low quality work means low effort which is a sign of disrespect toward the class and thus me. Talk about flawed logic steps...I would never say that a student would want to produce low quality work to communicate disrespect. Yet, my brain makes the jump there which means it also takes effort for me to disassociate the scores I provide from thinking they reflect about me. And maybe I'm just narcissistic but I don't just make this connection between grades and me through respect but also as an indicator of my job performance. This one is harder to disentangle because student success is influenced by the environment I create. But, it is also a result of the student's knowledge, skills, ability, and effort, which while I can influence this I cannot control it completely. I don't know about you but I often want more evaluation of my teaching effectiveness than just student teaching evaluations. Unfortunately, we don't have many other indicators and grades are the most obvious.

These points illustrate possible relationships between emotions and grading. They explain why grading can be difficult. They may require cognitive behavioral techniques of focusing only on that which you can control, acclimating to living in grey areas, and stopping runaway, illogical thinking. I hope they also communicate that if a teacher, you are not alone if you struggle with grading, and to students that instructors take grading incredibly seriously, put thought and effort into doing what they think is best.

Good luck not only to students completing final course assignments, but also to instructors who have to grade those assignments here at the semester's end.